


See Through the Happiness

by Cerulean_Gaze



Category: Gintama
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Character Death, Developing Relationship, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-02
Updated: 2018-02-05
Packaged: 2019-02-27 07:34:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13243527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cerulean_Gaze/pseuds/Cerulean_Gaze
Summary: Sometimes, we don't have to use our eyes to see what's the real happiness we need. All we need is to listen to our hearts and let it lead us towards the happiness we deserve.





	1. Prologue

_**One.** One time I almost lied every day for saying I’m alright when I’m really not. I even thought that everyone’s believing it, but seeing Kondo-san having such serious expression changing as he looked at me as days passes made me think twice.  _

_**Two.** The routine only repeated, even lying on what's actually going on with my mind already. But Kondo-san wouldn't really buy it as I answered his concerns, now leading me to **three.**_

_Three times I returned the slip for leaving at work that Kondo-san gave to me. He insisted me to go already after knowing my situation, yet I couldn't convince myself to go… for I have many regrets already._

_But to where? To whom?_

_**Four**. Four weeks had passed already since I received I call about my older brother's condition. They said that his tuberculosis is getting worse already. But what? I made excuses, just not to see him._

_For **five**. Five times I tried to convince myself that it's not that worse. I'm still not ready to face him after all the things I've done. From being a delinquent I was back then... From leaving him behind and never looked back back then._

_And that's what I really regret the most._

_But at **six** … Six o'clock when I started running from the office after I received another call on a certain day. I'm not already aware of who's I've been knocking down on way, for only fear that makes me think relentlessly._

_Fear that I might be too late already._

_**Seven.** It's seven when I arrived at the hospital, the rain only made everything worse as if it’s trying to indicate something, and also when everyone's following their looks at me that was wet soaked. After I reached for the counter and asked for the room's number, reluctance occurs again that started to add weights on my legs._

_**Eight.** Eight minutes had passed already when I've been only standing in front of the room where he was. I could hear rushes of footsteps inside, a yell of orders were given aloud as loud beeping of a machine and loud coughs can be heard in a distance. I tried to wait longer, counting up to ten as I tried to collect myself from the panicking thoughts._

_But before I could reach to **nine** , I barged in to the room._

_Then, there he was. Rustling on the bed as he took a loud, painful coughs and breathes. The nurses started to take me out as they said something that I couldn't really hear, for all I could hear is the sound of the beeps, the coughs that my brother takes, and the doctor that was now facing me._

_"He wouldn't stay any longer." is what the doctor said as I pushed the nurses aside, making me to halt at any further actions I might do. I only paused and stared at the doctor that was ushering the nurses to let me be. Then, the doctor stepped aside to give way to the patient, then leaving the room for such privacy._

_As I stood next to him, he finally settled from his coughs. I only averted my eyes down to the floor once his head faced up to me. Then, I finally managed to look back at him, meeting his ever bright, blue orbs that were staring at me with it being lighten up as if he's not on a critical condition at the moment. He then smiled at me, breaking the silence afterwards._

_"... Hey there, Toshirou-san."_

_I clenched my teeth as I felt another pang on my chest, quickly averting my eyes away again. And before I could find my own words to say, I heard him chuckling faintly as his hand reached for me._

_"Toshirou-san had grown into a fine man, aren't you? It's really been a while..."_

_I suddenly fell on my knees, hands trembling as I reached for his hand and gently holding it. His hand then moved and rested it above my head, gently running his fingers through my hair._

_"My, you've really grown, Toshirou-san." He whispered. "Ah, your hair is wet. Don't tell me you just run to come in here?"_

_I tried to speak but my throat tightened up, only leaving me no choice but to nod._

_"You're really careless as ever, aren't you?" He softly chuckled. "You should take care of yourself well."_

_Then, I felt his warm hand over my hands again. I tried to speak again, but no voice came out. I just looked at him again and held his hand again, making him to smile again._

_"... As expected to my dearest brother." His voice softens, giving a soft grip on my chest as nostalgia pours into it._

_"... At least we had another talk... and it's already enough for me."_

_I heard the sound of the machine beeps slowly. I tried to distract my thoughts by counting each beeps, attention still on him._

_"You'll gonna be alright..."_

_His hand started to lose its warmth._

_"... I'm very happy to see once again."_

_"S-So... do I." A voice whispered, barely recognizing it as mine._

_"... Thank you, Toshirou-san." He whispered back, only giving another smile before his eyes closed._

_And **ten.** After the ten counts of the machine, its loud sound broke through the room._

_I stood up as the doctor and nurses rushed around him again. I stepped back and kept my eyes on him, still trying to swallow the lump stuck on my throat. Impulsively, I went out of the room and looked down to my hands, trembling as some trickles of water dropped down to it. I closed my eyes and leaned on the door as I mentally counted again, trying to sync my breathings along as what the book I used to read indicated in calming down._

_I breathe in, and then shakily brought out a breath._

_**One.**_

_I breathe in, and I heard a death announcement from behind. I breathe out aloud, tightly closing my eyes along with my tightened fist._

_**Two.**_

_I breathe in, and heard his voice inside my head as I recalled the event earlier..._

_**Three.**_

_I breathe in, and remembered the times when I'm still a kid, being carried on shoulders by him as our laughter rang around the peaceful field..._

_**Four.**_

_I stepped forward, starting to walk away as I barely looked up. I breathe out, and took another breathe in._

_**Five.**_

_My vision suddenly blurred a bit, then dimmed as my chest tightened again. I grabbed my chest and started to breathe heavily._

_**Six.**_

_"... T-Toshi?"_

_I paused and tried to look up, barely recognizing Kondo-san due to the dimness of my vision._

_**Seven...**_

_I breathe in again, and shakily breathe out as I felt the loss of tightness of my throat. I tried to speak, but my knees suddenly loss its strength that made me tipped forward, followed by a painful struck on my head._

_**Eight...**_

_"TOSHI!"_

_I fell on my knees again, unable to control my breathing._

_**Nine...**_

_A rustle of footsteps coming towards our direction, and I barely felt being lifted up._

_**And ten...**_

_The surroundings became black in my sight as my consciousness slowly faded away along with the unspoken words._

_..._

_~~“… I’m sorry.”~~_


	2. I.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the crucial event of his life was happened, Hijikata didn’t expect the sudden condition he had during his breakdown at the hospital. Struggling to adjust on life under his condition, Kondo decided to help him through the help of a male that Hijikata never knew and didn’t want to bother at all until the male manages to strike a curiosity to him.

     Hijikata opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling for a while.

     The surroundings were seems dim, light barely lightened up the room. Hijikata sat up to his bed and sighed heavily, holding his forehead as it throbbed in pain again. Then, he heard a ping of a phone beside his bed. He stretched his arm and reached for the phone on the desk. As he pressed a button, a sound of a revving machine of a car was played on his phone, followed by a familiar voice after a few seconds.

_“Hey, Toshi! It’s me, Kondo. I hope I didn’t wake you up, but I’m on my way to your house! I’ll be there in a few minutes, alright? See you!”_

     And the voice message was ended.

     Hijikata just rubbed his face as he took a deep breathe, then standing up and staggered a bit as he started to walk. He leaned a bit near to the wall and placed his palm on it while heading out to his room.

     Soft footsteps can be only heard on a certain spacious house as a single person inside of it was slowly heading his way to the living room. The surroundings are awfully silent than the usual one, Hijikata thought, and it gave him a bitter feeling just by staying at the said place. He doesn’t usually stayed a lot on his apartment when he started to work, and it felt a little strange when he was told to stay at the place for a long time being. Although he wanted to argue about it, he knew that it would be pointless at all. He couldn’t do anything with his current state of being visually impaired, after all.

     Some few weeks back, Hijikata fainted on the hospital after learning his brother’s death at the moment. He couldn’t get what might be the reason behind his loss of consciousness at first, but as soon as he woke up with his sight only welcomed a dim-lightened surroundings, the doctor took some several examinations to him. Due to his stressful works and the current loss of his loved ones, the doctor identified that the stress took a lot of toll on his mental and emotional state, leading it to the stress-induced blindness. The doctor explained further about the said state, and taking a break from these things might help for a while. He definitely needed to take a break, but it seems that it isn’t that easy for a workaholic kind of him.

     After he managed to do his morning routine and reaching the living room, he heard a knock coming from the entrance door. Hijikata headed to the place and faced the door for a while, pausing as he held the knob from aside.

     “Who is it?” Hijikata asked aloud, taking safety measures.

     “It’s Kondo!” The voice yelled cheerfully as the knock ceased.

     Hijikata opened the door after recognizing the voice, stepping aside afterwards. He heard few footsteps coming forward, followed by a loud greeting by his visitor that was seems cheerful as always.

     “Good morning, Toshi! ~” Kondo greeted distinctly. Hijikata could imagine the male grinning during the moment.  He only moved his lips into a small smile in return.

     “Good morning, Kondo-san.”

     “How’s your sleep, ne? Are you resting well? Eating well?”

     “I’m doing fine.” Hijikata simply replied as he opened the door wider to give way to the other. “Are you gonna come in?”

     He then heard some footsteps coming forward, and then followed by other footsteps that immediately paused after Hijikata faced at the door’s direction where another person might be standing. The faint footsteps from afar paused, hearing a gasp and a laugh afterwards.

     “Ah. I almost forgot you!” Kondo laughed as he moved closer to them again.

     “… You’re with someone else in here?” Hijikata asked while a frown is seems making its way to his face.

     “Seriously, forgetting a friend like me?” An unfamiliar voice spoke near to Hijikata, sarcasm can be heard on the other male’s tone. “I feel offended, Gori. I’m hurt.”

     Kondo just laughed again and replied. “I didn’t mean to, alright?”

     Before Hijikata could ask, the other male made his way inside the place. Hijikata then flinched as he felt a pat from his back, later recognizing the pat as Kondo’s.

     “He’s a friend of mine, don’t worry.” Kondo reassured to him while resting his arms around Hijikata’s shoulders. “Mind knowing him for a little? Ah, maybe befriending him sounds better!”

     “Knowing him for a little would do.” Hijikata only replied bluntly, starting to make his way back to the living room along with Kondo on his side.

     After reaching the living room, Hijikata and Kondo sat down to the sofa while the other male asked for the comfort room. Hijikata just gave the directions and waited for the other to head at his way before he turned his attention back to Kondo. Kondo then cleared his throat and started the conversation.

     “I settled your leave at work already–,” Kondo said. “–and the doctor said that it’ll take some few weeks or months since they’ll still observing your condition.”

     Hijikata leaned back to the sofa and closed his eyes, sighing heavily as he spoke, “… Months? Isn’t that too long?”

     “Yeah, but it’s really up to your condition, Toshi.” Kondo rested his hand on Hijikata’s shoulder, giving a reassuring squeeze on it. “You also need this break, too. You have to sort out yourself for a while…”

     “I know.”

     “And it’s not that easy if you’ll do it alone.”

     Hijikata shot his eyes open again and turned his head on Kondo’s direction, blinking in astonishment.

     “Hah? What do you mean?”

     “Well… I know that you might spend your whole break alone in here since you have nobody around. Also, you need to be looked out for some time, too.” Kondo replied, hesitance can be heard on his voice. Hijikata just frowned as he let out a grumble.

     “I don’t need any help, Kondo-san.” Hijikata stated, “I can do this on my own, so–“

     “You’re always like that, Toshi.” Kondo interrupted in frustration, making Hijikata to be taken aback at the sudden change of his tone. “Always handling things on your own… You don’t have to bear your problems alone, you know?”

     Kondo’s voice then softened afterwards after Hijikata lowered his head, sighing before he spoke again.

     “You’re not listening to me back then, Toshi. But I don’t really mind it at all since you have your own ways. I’m just worried for you, that’s why I’m trying to help you right now…” Kondo softly murmured.

     “So just this once… Can you just listen to me?”

     Hijikata just stayed silent and simply nodded, pressing his lips together as he stared down to the floor. Kondo then gently rested his hand on his back, rubbing it while chuckling quietly.

     “Don’t worry, you wouldn’t be babysit or something.” Kondo chuckled. “He’ll just be around to look out for you and help you on some things around here.”

     “… ‘He’?”

     “The one I brought in here.” Kondo replied, followed by upcoming footsteps towards to their direction. “Ah, here he is, Toshi!”

     Hijikata raised his head and tried to figure out the male that was standing in front of them, although he could only see a dark silhouette through the dimness of his vision.

     “Toshi… He’s Gin-san.” Kondo chirped. “Also, Gin-san, here’s Toshi ~”

     “Oh, so he’s the one I’ll gonna babysit?” The other male mocked, making Hijikata to be pissed. The male just snickered and added, “I’m just kidding. It’s nice to meet you, Toshi.”

     “Hijikata.” He blurted out, turning his head away.

     “Fine, Hijikata-kun. Seems like we’re really grumpy at all, aren’t we?” The male snorted out.

     “He’s just really like that, Gin-san. But he’s really nice inside, don’t worry.”

     “Oi, what do you even mean by that, Kondo-san?”

     “Ahh, acting tough outside but actually soft inside? Tsundere?” The other male mocked.

     “I’m not tsundere!” Hijikata snapped back, trying to glare up to the male.

     “Sure, that’s what most of the tsunderes say, after all.”

     “Oi, didn’t I just– ?!”

     Kondo just laughed aloud and patted Hijikata on the back, almost pushing him out to his seat. “You two will really get along~”

     “In what part of that conversation does even convince you with that?!” Hijikata and the other male spat out in unison.

     A ring of a phone suddenly broke out between their bickering. Kondo just paused at laughing and checked his phone, letting them continue their own bantering that eventually died out due to awkwardness. Then, Kondo slipped back his phone and sighed out as he looked back to them.

     “You two will gonna be fine, right?” Kondo asked while standing up.

     “You’ll leave already, Kondo-san?” Hijikata asked as he raised his head up to Kondo.

     “Yeah, I got a call from the station and they need me out there.” Kondo replied. “Well… I’ll just pick Gin-san later after I settled the things out there, alright?”

     “Huh? What for?” The other male butted into the conversation. “Actually, I just live across this place. That house in front in here.”

     “… E-Eh?! Really?!” Kondo exclaimed. “That’s great, then! You could eventually look for Toshi while I’m not around!”

     “Tch, seriously. I’m not a kid to be watch at all the times.” Hijikata grumbled in dismay.

     “But you need to. Stop being a baby and let me do my job.” The male mumbled, earning another grunt from Hijikata.

     “Huh? Job?”

     “I hired Gin-san as your babysi– err, companion? –since he mostly accepts any jobs that can be offered to him.”

     “Oi, did you just said babysitter? So I’m actually getting babysit in here, oi?!”

     “Just kidding, Toshi~ Just kidding!” Kondo laughed aloud. “So, I have to go now. You two should chitchat for a bit so you could get along, alright?”

     Hijikata just sighed and nodded, “Fine.”

     Footsteps can be heard on the floor again as Kondo started to walk away. Hijikata heard the other male grunted and shoos Kondo that was now whining as usual. He just smiled a little and averted his head away, sighing out again after then. After Kondo bid farewells to them and left, the room suddenly fell into a silence that was seems heavier than before. Hijikata heard a crumpled sound of a plastic being placed on a table in front of him. Then, he heard the other male clearing out his throat before speaking.

     “Uh… I’ll just formally introduce myself.” The other mumbled. “I’m Sakata Gintoki.”

     “Hijikata Toshirou.” Hijikata followed afterwards, bowing his head a bit in return. A clank of a spoon and fork can be heard along with the plastic being removed. “… What are you doing?”

     “I brought some food for you?” Gintoki replied. “Heh, I got advances from him so I cooked some food for him, and also bringing some for you. I also saw that you’ve been eating instant and canned goods a lot and it’s not healthy, you know?”

     Hijikata just shrugged and stayed silent for a while, having his thoughts running again. Then, a spoon was suddenly shoved to him that startled him a bit.

     “Hey, you don’t have to force yourself to talk if you don’t feel like it.” Gintoki said while shaking his head, carefully handing the bento to Hijikata. “It’s still early to get comfortable with each other, after all. I understand if you still don’t feel like trusting me.”

     “… It’s not like that.” Hijikata murmured, sniffing the food given to him and somehow gave a familiar smell to him. He then placed back the bento on the table and heaved a deep breath before he speaks again. “… You don’t actually have to do this.”

     As silence only replied to him, he continued.

     “I don’t know if Kondo-san forced you to do this or… whatever might be the reason behind it. But don’t worry, you don’t really have to do–”

     “Ah, I’ll just come back some other times.” Gintoki interfered as he made heavy steps away. “You better clear out your mind and listened to that gorilla. He’s really worried to you, you know?”

     Then, the footsteps paused.

     “Besides, he’s not the only one who’s always worried for you… isn’t it? For sure, there’s someone who _used_ to worry a lot for you.”

_Used to?_

_"… Ah, your hair is wet. Don't tell me you just run to come in here?"_

_"… You're really careless as ever, aren't you?" He softly chuckled. "You should take care of yourself well..."_

     Hijikata lowered his head and clenched his teeth.

     “Eat your food, alright?” Gintoki started to walk again, yawning aloud as he head to the door. “I’ll check you around if I ever wake up later. I’ll bring you some lunch and dinner later, too.”

     And the door was closed afterwards.

     Heaving out a heavy sigh, Hijikata leaned his back to the sofa and closed his eyes, trying to ease his mind after the sudden recall of the events at the hospital. He then opened his eyes, hoping for his sight to return at the moment he opens it, but everything is still dimmed into darkness. He suddenly became aware of the coldness of the spoon he’s holding, remembering that he still hasn’t touched the food. He then carefully held the bento closer to him again. Although he doesn’t feel like eating it, he decided to taste it a bit and took a spoonful of it. As he placed the spoon inside his mouth and took in its contents, he suddenly froze as a familiar taste of sour and a deep, rich flavor of the food made him remember a thing he loved the most.

_Mayonnaise._

_‘… Huh? Why does it taste like he put a lot of mayonnaise in here?’_ Hijikata thought. _‘No way will he just casually put such amount of mayonnaise in here unless…’_

     He swallowed the food and faced down to the bento, giving a suspicious look to it. And before he could realize it, he had finished the rest of the food without recognizing the pleased feeling.


	3. II.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Since then, Hijikata manages to have an alarm clock every morning, in courtesy of Gintoki and thanks to Kondo. Gintoki was making his way to be Hijikata’s morning routine, and it seems that he manages to do more than he wanted to.

     A loud knock on the window woke Hijikata up from his slumber.

     Hijikata frowned as he sat up, wondering who might be the one on the window. He just headed on the window nearby to the bed and slid the curtain aside, the knock ceased after then.

     “Who the hell are you?” Hijikata spat out in irritation, hearing a faint whine outside.

     “How rude of Oogushi, being grumpy right on this morning.” The male snorted out. “It’s Gin-san along with your breakfast~”

     Hijikata then suddenly remembered the bento that the other male had brought last time.

     “I already ate.” Hijikata muttered while attempting to slide back the curtain close.

     “Wait, wait! I won’t take it as that if you just ate another instant food!” Gintoki wailed, knocking the window in attempt to stop him. Hijikata just slid back the curtain and ignored the other’s calls to him.

     “Stop shouting, for Pete’s sake.” Hijikata scolded out while walking back to his bed again, only hearing a grunt as the knock ceased again. “You’re waking the neighbors on such ungodly hour!”

     “Fine, I guess an old man like you still needs to sleep a lot, no?” He heard Gintoki mocked aloud.

     “Shut up! Who are you even calling an old man?!”

     “You, obviously. Being grumpy and having that frowning face, I bet you’ll look older on your early age or something.” Gintoki snorted. “What a waste of that handsome face…”

     “What?”

     “Nothing!” Gintoki immediately replied. “Tch, I’ll just go already. I’ll gonna leave the food in front of your door, alright?”

     “I told you, I ate already!” Hijikata scowled, then groaning after hearing no response from outside.

     It became their morning routine since then, actually pissing Hijikata off since Gintoki eventually wakes him up too early or too late just to bring a food to him. Sometimes, Hijikata wakes up after hearing weird scratches from the window, followed by fake meows of a cat in courtesy of Gintoki that was actually strange for him. But mostly, a loud shout or coos wakes Hijikata up, hearing Gintoki that was describing what food he had with him that never failed to make Hijikata to visualize the said food, but it was mostly some boasting about how great a cook he is. Hijikata won’t argue with that, anyway, but he just doesn’t take the food while the other’s around. He just waits for Gintoki to get impatient and announce that he’ll just place the said food outside.

     And Hijikata found that Gintoki is comfortable with him already just by listening on his carefree tone.

     It felt odd for Hijikata, though. He still doesn’t have any idea what might Gintoki looks like, yet he could picture out a lazyass male that might be only slacking around due to the heaviness of his tone. But sometimes, he’s getting confused when the other male suddenly pitch up his voice when he’s trying to lure him out with his gentle voice. Not only that, the persistency and the dedication, if that’s the right word to use, of the other male only makes Hijikata to be confused and have his thoughts wandering on him without his consent. All Hijikata just did is to ignore him and shrug him off for while he’s still contemplating at opening himself up, until Gintoki brought another food like the first time.

     “Hey, Hijikata-kun~” Gintoki coos one day, knocking softly at the window. “I brought you some special curry with some… twist on it? Well, it’s just like the same I gave to you for the first time–“

     Hijikata suddenly slid the curtain open earlier than Gintoki expected, making him to gasp and pause for a while. Then, Hijikata just awkwardly cough and turned his head away.

     “… What do you mean by twist?” Hijikata murmured between his coughs.

     “Uh… I just mixed some weird thing on here or something…” Gintoki replied with hesitation. “… I don’t even know if you liked the first time I brought you a food–“

     “The one with a mayonnaise on it?”

      “Ah, yeah.” Gintoki mumbled.

     Hijikata then frowned as he tried to give a look to Gintoki.

     “… Don’t you like it?”

     “What even made you to do that?” Hijikata finally asked that bothered him a lot back then. Silence only replied to him for a while, followed by a soft sigh from the other before he replied.

     “Well… I just think that you like it?” Gintoki replied with his dumb tone. “I-I mean, everyone has different kind of tastes so I think you might like it?”

     Hijikata could hear a strange tone of nostalgia on the other’s voice, so does he just by remembering who he used to share the odd fondness of such taste.

     “… That might be really different kind of taste, then.” Hijikata only answered. “But yeah… I used to put a lot of mayonnaise on my food.”

     “Woah, really?!” Gintoki suddenly exclaimed in bewilderment, his tone gradually turned opposite than earlier. “As in… _‘a lot’_?!”

     “Mhm. Does that sound odd?”

     “Woah, amazing…” Gintoki laughed aloud, as if he already expected Hijikata’s type of taste. “Nah, it ain’t that odd~ I also put some sweet red beans on my rice whenever I crave for a lot of sweets so it isn’t that bad.”

     “… It sounds odder just to imagine that, though.”

     “Oi, are you referring to my Gintoki Special? I’m giving you chance to take that back, oi.”

     “Why would I? I’m just saying what I think about it.” Hijikata snickered.

     “That’s it, then! Expect a lot of sweet red beans on your food starting tomorrow! I’ll surely put a bunch of them on your food, asshole!”

     “Don’t you dare! I’ll definitely toss it down to the trash!” Hijikata warned, only earning a grunt from the other. Then, it was followed by a light chuckle.

     “Pfft, you should stay just like that, Hijikata-kun.” Gintoki said while ceasing himself from his chuckles, confusing Hijikata a bit.

     “Huh? What do you mean?”

     “You know… Grinning like that?”

     Hijikata just paused and realized how his lips curved into a smile, making him to be taken aback and pressing his lips together into a line. Then, he just heard a rustle of grass from outside as Gintoki yawned aloud.       

     “I’ll just place the food outside if you don’t want to take it from me.” Gintoki announced, indicating the end of their usual talks. Hijikata suddenly felt a hesitance for the other to leave.

     “Wait, Gin–“

     He just slid back the curtain close and made his way towards the entrance door of his house, quickly reaching for the knob and opening it widely. He heard the footsteps paused, making him to let go of his breath that he didn’t knew when he hold it.

     “Eh? Do you need something, Hijikata-kun?” Gintoki asked.

     Hijikata then realized what he was actually thinking, losing on his thoughts just by thinking where he should start. He just stood in front of the door for a while, trying to find his own words before he spoke.

     “… Uh. I’m just wondering… why you’re actually doing this every day.” Hijikata blurted out while bringing his hand on his nape, turning his head away. “… I-I mean, Kondo-san said just to look out for me or something…”

     He then lowered himself and looked for the plastic bag, grabbing it and picking it up after touching it.

     “And being persistent to bring foods over me everyday… You–”

     “– ‘don’t have to do this, you know?’” Gintoki mocked. “Yeah, I know. But I don’t really have anything to do expect this. I’m alone on my house and I don’t really have someone to cook for, and I just found myself cooking a lot. I don’t want to waste the food, anyway, so I decided to give some for you.”

     Hijikata just nodded and turned his head back in front. Gintoki then turned his back again and added;

     “Besides… I want to know you well, too, not only because I’m working for you. Say it as wanting to become friends with you, but I think it’s like that.”

     Then, the footsteps started to move away.

     “Oh well. It may be really like that. Just see you some other times, Hijikata-kun.”

     And the footsteps gradually ceased away, leaving Hijikata in puzzlement.

 _‘… Huh? Did I hear that right?’_ Hijikata thought as he recalled the other’s voice. _‘.. To become friends…’_

_‘… Seriously. What is he, a kid to ask like that?_

_It doesn’t sound bad, anyway.’_

     He just snickered and went back inside the house.


	4. III.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes, it isn't that bad to use cliche phrases just to amuse and convince someone.

     Gintoki tried to keep himself laid on his sofa as a JUMP manga was enclosed to his face. He just couldn’t forget the thing he said last time to Hijikata, and seeing him snicker before he head back inside to his house… Gintoki just couldn’t forget it. He just sighed and sat up, tossing down the manga down to the floor as he ruffled his unruly hair.

     “Ah… So bored.” He mumbled as he looked out to the window, looking out for the other male and as expected, he never went out.

     It suddenly came to his realization that he never saw Hijikata going out since he became aware of his presence at the house. Gintoki isn’t even sure that someone is actually living at the said place since he rarely see anyone going in or out from it. No wonder why he just met Hijikata after he was introduced by Kondo. _But he has to go out for some other times, too…_ Gintoki thought, his head making up an idea for the other male. But before he could grasp the idea, his phone broke out into loud ring that interrupted his thought.

     “What the hell, I just forgot what I was supposed to do next!” Gintoki wailed in disappointed as he reached for the phone, frowning as he squinted to the Caller’s ID; _‘Zura is calling…’_

     He then pressed the call button.                                 

     “Yo, Zura.” Gintoki greeted while picking his nose.

 _“It’s not Zura, it’s Katsura.”_ The male on the other line stated. _“Are you doing something, Gintoki?”_

     “I’m just guarding someone from my home–” Gintoki scoffed while wiping his finger before standing up, stretching his body while yawning. “–which doesn’t really need to, I guess. How’s the business?”

     Katsura was one of Gintoki’s friends, having a business of a flower shop that Gintoki really expected for him to have. Katsura seems really fond of flowers back when they’re still kids, and Gintoki’s not surprised already after knowing that Katsura had opened this kind of business. He usually drop by when he had nothing to do and lending a hand to him since the business is running alive and Katsura only handles the business with two of his closest friends. But since he was hired by Kondo, he rarely goes to the said shop already. Katsura understands, anyway.

 _“It’s doing fine. I’m just having a little trouble in here.”_ Katsura replied, then hearing a sneeze from the distance. _“Takasugi called for a sick leave. He got cold, and Elizabeth is running on an errand already. Do you mind helping me a bit in here until Elizabeth returns?”_

     “Oi, I heard a sneeze out there. I bet that midget still insisted to work, no?”

     A shuffling sound can be heard on the other line, followed by a grunt of the mentioned male.

_“I’ll literally strangle you later.”_

     And the sound shuffled again along with bickering of the two male on the other line. Then, Katsura cleared his throat as he held the line again, hearing a whine on a distance.

 _“You had your answer. I’ll later kick him out in here since the flowers’ pollens only worsen his runny nose.”_ Katsura announced aloud. _“So, are you free to drop by to the shop?”_

     Gintoki just scratched his head and made his way to his door.

     “Yeah. I’m on my way. Just have to drop by to my neighbor.”

 

[ - ]

 

     After locking the door of his house, Gintoki started to hop away from the place and looked over the house across the street. He was about change his mind of not disturbing Hijikata when he caught a glimpse of the said male on a bench in front of his house, staring down to the grassy land below while fiddling with his fingers. Gintoki paused on heading to the path walk, then crossing the empty street to approach the other male.

     “Hey, Oogushi-kun.” Gintoki called out as he carefully walked towards Hijikata. “It’s Gintoki. Fancy seeing you out of your cave, huh?”

     Gintoki watched Hijikata raising his head, finding the direction of his voice. Then, he sneered after seeing Hijikata facing on his direction with a frown on his face.

     “Shut up.” Hijikata simply spat out. “What brings you here?”

     “Ah, I’m just passing by~” Gintoki coos while looking at the other male, fascinated at the clear features of him since he only saw the other through his window. “I’m going somewhere. You? Is Kondo-san gonna pick you up or something?”

     Gintoki then noticed the other male straightening himself as he rubbed his nape, his blue eyes seems to avert on the side.

     “… He’s on work.” Hijikata briefly answered. “I’m just actually… uh… you…” His voice then became inaudible that Gintoki couldn’t hear already.

     “Hah? Oi, I can’t hear you.” Gintoki huffed.

     “… I-I said, just go already!” Hijikata snapped while turning his head away as his face became flushed. “You’re just bothering me at all!”

     Gintoki just blinked in shock at seeing the other’s expression, then trying to hold his laughter as he replied.

     “Oh, really? ~ But I heard you referring to me.” Gintoki grinned. “Aw, come on. You’re waiting for me, aren’t you? ~”

     “I-I’m not!” Hijikata barked back, trying to glare at him. “W-Why would I?! I just said that I-I wanted to go out!”

     Gintoki then retrieved his earlier thoughts, making his grin to grow wider.

     “Fine, let it be like that. But since you want to go out… Maybe you want to go out with me?”

     They suddenly fell into silence afterwards, trying to process what they just heard. Gintoki’s eye just twitched as Hijikata gave an impassive expression.

     “I-I mean, maybe you want join with me? I’m going to a friend’s shop; flower shop to be precise.” Gintoki sweated, then sighing as Hijikata softened his expression again.

     “Flower shop?”

     “Mhm. I’ll just lend a hand to its owner since he’s lack of workers at the moment. It won’t take too long, anyway.” Gintoki replied.

     “… It might be beautiful out there.” Hijikata murmured that Gintoki managed to catch. Gintoki watched Hijikata to shifted a bit on his seat and heard him sighed, remembering that he currently couldn’t see well. He silently gave a thoughtful hum at a second.

     “Yeah, it’s really beautiful out there.” Gintoki smiled as he tried to visualize the place. “The shop isn’t that big but enough to be occupied by a lot of flowers. There’s also a small field beside it where some of the flowers were planted. There’s a lot of type of flowers in there, too…  Roses, Orchids, Lily, and Daffodil… The place was actually painted in different bright colors of their flowers.”

     Trying to give his best description about the place, Gintoki carefully looked at Hijikata that was seems visualizing the place as well. After a while, Hijikata nodded and replied.

     “You describe well, huh.” Hijikata stated while snorting.

     “Am I?” Gintoki beamed brightly. “Well, I used to write a lot back then… Poems and stories… But I don’t write that much already around these days. Maybe that helped, no?”

     Hijikata just nodded, noticing some hesitance on his movement. Gintoki then sighed and smiled a bit as he finally decided to make the other come with him by his own way.

     “I could show you more about that place if you want to, you know? I’ll be your eyes on our way so you could see the things around, and I’ll be pleasured to describe everything around us.” Gintoki tried to convince the other male, unaware of his descriptive way to do it. It sounds clichéd, he then realized, but he doesn’t really care at all already.

     And Hijikata simply smiled in reply, enough for Gintoki to feel delighted that he beamed up brightly once again.

     “… Too clichéd.” Hijikata answered as he shook his head. “I used to read something similar to that. Didn’t expect it to be given to me in reality.”

     “Pfft. Then, there you have it.” Gintoki chuckled. “So… What do you think?”

     “… Sure.” Hijikata answered while standing up, holding a metallic cane on his side. “I don’t have anything to do, after all. Besides… It doesn’t sound bad at all, anyway.”

     “Heh, really? I knew it. Some clichéd things aren’t that bad.”

     “Just don’t used them frequently, right?”

     “Right, right~”

     Gintoki went beside Hijikata while they continued to talk, hesitated for a moment before brushing his arm beside him. Although it took a while before Hijikata took his arm, they started to head on their way already, and Gintoki wasn’t aware of his flushed face during their way.


End file.
